Untold Feelings
by ncis-4-ever-and-ever
Summary: One-shot of the result of Tony and Ziva after the car crash in Berlin. Could they finally admit their feelings? Tiva!


**I Absolutely, Positively DO NOT OWN NCIS...only in my dreams. No copyright intended!**

**The Crash**

Flashback

Tears began to flow gently down Ziva's face, before she started to say, " You know, I keep thinking that if it was not for Orli, things would have been different. I would be a different person."

After she said this, Tony looked over at her, seeing the pain in her eyes, and said the words, "Then I should go catch her before she leaves." Once he spoke these words he grabbed her hand, interlocking their fingers. At first, she was shocked, but it felt right. It felt like his fingers were meant to be there. "You know. I'd thank her." When he said this, her face lit up. All she did was smile though, because she was speechless, thinking of the right words to say to him. The light then turned green and began to drive again. Ziva knew she had to tell him, so she started off saying, "Tony." That's all she could say. She knew he wanted more because he spoke the questioning word, "Yea?"

Before Ziva could say anything else, he screamed her name, and threw himself on top of her. That's when it happened. The car crashed into them, glass cutting into their skins. They both felt the siring pain, of the sharp glass, drawing blood from their bodies. The car twirled around and around, throwing them in every direction like they were dolls. By the time the car was done turning, Ziva felt Tony's bloody hand graze hers, until they both went unconscious.

End of Flashback

The ambulance finally came. Tony's heart was barely beating, and he was unconscious Ziva was almost still in the unconscious state but she could still hear, and partly see everything that was going on. "Get them on the gurnies! We need to get to the hospital ASAP!"

Before she knew it she was lifted up, her blood leaving a trail. "Officer David, can you hear me?" Ziva could not talk, or at least she didn't think she could, so all she did was shake her head. She winced in pain by the movement of her head shaking. She was quickly placed on top of the gurney trying to look around to find Tony. With no luck, she tried to whisper his name. "Agent David, do not speak." Once the doctor said this, he took the oxygen mask and put it over her bloody face. Ziva closed her eyes for a second, and when she re-opened them, she saw Gibbs. "Ah, Ziva." He said with a sad expression, looking like he was going to shed a tear. Even though the doctors gave her specific orders not to talk, she did anyways. She took off the mask, and gently said "Where is Tony?"

Gibbs looked down, his face looking like he was going to break down. "Gibbs!" Ziva tried to yell, but only came out like a she was having a regular conversation.

"He is unconscious, at the moment."

"How could this be. It hit my side!" Tears started to flow down her cheeks, and anger started to boil up inside of her. She tried to stand up, to go find Tony, but Gibbs pushed her back down. "What if Tony dies Gibbs!?" With this question, the tears swelled up in her eyes.

"He won't."

"I cannot go with your gut this time. I saw what had happened. He was bloody, because of the glass that had struck him, trying to protect me. I do not understand why he jumped on top of me. I am ready to die, whenever. I have lost so much, one more death will kill me, especially because it is Tony."

"Ziva, he will not die on you." When Gibbs said this, he made sure he exaggerated on every single word.

* * *

**The Hospital**

Tony and Ziva got to share the same, boring, dull hospital room. Although before they were in the room they both had to undergo surgery, his two hours longer than hers.

When they got back into the hospital room, Tony was still unconscious and all she did was sit there, watching his every movement. With every breath he took Ziva worried that it would be his last. Many times she tried to talk to him, calling his name, waiting for an answer, but never once got one.

Every night she sat there, tears slowly filled her eyes as she waited for him to wake up. Ziva wanted him to wake up, so he could make everything ok again. No, she needed him to wake up, so he could make everything ok again. After years, and years, and years of knowing him, and not telling him what she needed to, he cannot die. She began to think to herself, "When I was finally going to tell him, we got hit by a car. My life really does suck."

"Tony please wake up," she began to say, "Tony please."

That night, all she could do was glance at him because it was to hard for her to see him with tubes shoved down his throat. Ziva kept thinking that it was her fault he was like this. If he had not thrown himself on top of her, to save her life, he wouldn't be in this condition. He has saved her life countless times, and now she may not be able to save his.

It was now 3:00 in the morning, when Ziva heard someone coughing. She looked over to find Tony choking on the tubes. The nurses immediately rushed in, pulling out the tubes, and once they were done, they both sat there. Ziva, because I thought this was a dream, and Tony, because he was weak. "Tony?" She whispered softly.

Once she had said this he turned his head. "Ziva!" He tried to say with the most enthusiastic expression that he could. "You...aren't...dead?"

"You thought I was dead?" After Ziva said this, he shook his head looking up at the ceiling.

"How are you not dead?"

"You saved me."

"But the impact?" He coughed out.

"Tony, just stop talking. I am alive. Because of you. And you would not be in this condition, if you had just let me die. I have put you in danger, this is my fault, and I am sorry."

"This is not your fault! So get over yourself."

"How can I get over myself when you were laying over there dying!?"

"You thought I was dying?"

"Yes, before I even got to say-."

"Got to say?" After he said this all she did was smile slightly.

"Can you tell me?" Tony asked, but Ziva simply said no. "C'mon Zi! I could be dying for all we know, and you won't tell me what you were going to say?"

"You are not dying." She once again said simply.

"Will you ever tell me what's going on? Will we always be like this!?" Now he began to get frustrated.

"Be like what Tony!?" Ziva said in the same tone.

"Not open with each other...always pretending." He went from almost screaming, now into a whisper.

"Pretending?" She knew exactly what he was talking about, but instead wanted to play stupid.

"Pretending that we are only partners Ziva!" She was quiet. "Can you at least say something!"Throughout this conversation his blood pressure went to low, to sky rocketing high. He began to grab his chest and his face turned to a deep, cherry red color. The doctors immediately rushed in.

"Special Agent Dinozzo, you are having a heart attack, try to stay calm."

"Tony! I am so sorry!" Ziva's heart broke when she saw him, gasping for air, knowing that she had done this...once again.

Tony tried to talk, but he couldn't, everything just went black.

* * *

**Silence**

Tony finally awoke, after being out like a light for 5 hours. "Tony?" Ziva tried to say, but he just stared at the ceiling. "Please, talk to me." Once she said this she rolled over to face him, but once again he did not answer. "Tony!" She yelled.

"What Ziva."

"Will you at least talk to me!?"

"I have nothing to say." Tony said quietly.

"I know you are mad."

"I am a little more than mad Ziva!" Now he began to raise his voice.

"I am sorry for almost killing you...twice."

"The second time wouldn't have happened if you would stop acting like a crazy, stubborn Israeli chick who is afraid to admit her feelings." Ziva's mouth fell open at his remark. She was absolutely shocked, but hid it with a death glare. "No I am done with your games Ziva!"

"Tony..I."

"Just...Goodnight." Tony tried to sleep, and so did Ziva, but they couldn't. They lied awake for an hour before Ziva finally said something.

"I cannot sleep."

"Try."

"Can we please talk Tony? About this...us?"

"What about it?"

"It has been eight years Tony." Ziva said quietly.

"You think I didn't know that Zi?"

"I have been hiding, my feelings, because I am afraid to let myself fall for you." Tony was quiet. He waited a full 30 seconds until he began to ask why. "In the past, I have fallen for Michael, and Locke, and Ray, and all of them have hurt me in some way. I guess, I could not let myself fall for you." Once Ziva said this, a tear had lightly slid down her cheek.

"Ziva, why would you ever think that I would ever hurt you?"

"Because every man in my life has!" After she yelled this, she broke down in tears. she turned herself over to the other side so that Tony would not see her cry. Even though he tried countless times to ask if she was ok, she did not answer. Basically, Ziva's sobs was the only thing making noise, the rest was silence.

* * *

**True Feelings**

Tony and Ziva were still silent, only listening to her light sobs. By now her eyes were a deep red, glassy color. Tony wanted to talk to her, but every time he went to, words did not escape his mouth...until now.

"Zi. Are you ok?"

"I am fine Tony, really." She choked out.

"I am not like other men, Ziva." He said silently. After he said this, she flipped over to face him. "I'm, uh, different."

"How?" She asked in a whisper.

"I'm Very Special Agent Anthony Dinozzo Jr. I'm not your average guy." Once he said this she giggled. "This..thing..that we have going on is more than just your average friendship." At this point, Ziva stood up from her bed, and slowly walked over to his bed. "What Zi?" After he said this she gently kissed him and then whispered the words, "I know."


End file.
